Asadar, felul in care rezolvam aceste conflicte determina succesul relatiei, nu absenta lor. Gasesc ca explicatiile date de autor merita sa mai fie adaugite un pic. Asa ca haideti sa vedem care sunt acesti vajnici „calareti”…
Critica
Acea critica care nu are nimic constructiv. Cand replicile acide vizeaza omul, nu comportamentul lui. Pe scurt, cand cel care critica nu mai vrea ca celalalt sa-si schimbe un obicei prost – de exemplu – ci ar vrea sa se schimbe cu totul… adica, daca s-ar putea, sa fie altcineva in loc! Nu-i mai spune celuilalt cum ar fi bine sa faca, ci pur si simplu il blagosloveste cu invective. Si gaseste o bucurie amara cand il vede ca sufera.
De fapt, cand nu ne convine ceva la altcineva – cu atat mai mult cand e vorba despre persoana iubita, care ne oglindeste cel mai bine – problema se afla chiar in noi. Am citit o carte foarte interesanta despre asta, in care autoarea demonstra cu argumente foarte clare ca nu ai cum sa fii deranjat de ceva care nu se afla in tine. Asadar, acela care nu-si mai suporta iubita (sau aceea care nu-i mai suporta iubitul) pe el nu se mai suporta de fapt.
Ce-ar fi de facut?
Sa te uiti in primul rand la tine. Daca esti sincer, vei descoperi exact care-i problema. Lucreaza cu ea, da-i pace omului de langa tine. Experienta milenara arata ca nu vei reusi niciodata sa-i schimbi pe ceilalti, oricat de mult te-ai da cu fundul de pamant explicandu-le unde gresesc. Singurul mod de a scapa de frustrare este sa te transformi tu. Sa corectezi tu ce este de corectat, chiar daca asta inseamna, la limita, sa iesi din acea relatie. Cum iti dai seama daca ai reusit sau nu? Daca in urmatoarea relatie care iti apare in cale te lovesti de aceeasi problema, sa nu te intrebi de ce „toate mi se intampla numai mie”…
Citeşte mai mult pe ele.ro
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